Last Christmas, veteran Fringe actor John Huston was in town, performing his classic ‘Christmas Carol’. As usual, John stayed with us as our guest. The next day, John left for Saskatoon on the bus with his Charles Dickens’ costume hanging in our front hall.

In a panic, John called me asking that I ship out his costume on the next bus and I agreed. Down to the bus depot I went, the costume in a box. As it was Christmas time, the bus depot was exceptionally busy with people sending and receiving parcels. The lineup was quite long. In front of me were two young women in their early twenties. As I had nothing more pressing to do while I waited in line, I listened into their conversation.

First woman: "You’ll never guess who came over last night at midnight, three sheets to the wind, proclaiming that he loved me and only me."

Second woman: "You didn’t let him in, did you?"

First woman: "Nope. I told him to take a hike. To just get the hell out of my life and stay out. I don’t need this crap!"

Second woman: (Incredulous) "You didn’t say that, did you?"

First woman: (Pause) "No…but I wanted to."

Second woman: (Long pause) "So…did you sleep with him?"

First woman: (Even longer pause) "Yeah…but I’m not proud of it."

And Mr. Pinter would be proud of the following exchange that involved myself and my beloved. I was watching The Journal on CBC last summer, just enjoying the end of my day before bed. My wife walks into the television room and speaks:

Maureen: "Would you rather have an orange or a bowl of sherbet for a snack before bed?"

Rod: "I would like a bowl of sherbet, thank you."

Maureen: "An orange would be better for you."

Rod: "I know, but I still would prefer a bowl of sherbet."

Maureen: "Did you fart?"

Rod: (Indignant) "No!"

Maureen: "Well it smells in here."

Rod: "It’s not me!"

Maureen: "So…do you want an orange or a bowl of sherbet?"

Rod: (Resigned to his fate) "Get me an orange."

Maureen: "Good…I knew that’s what you wanted."